In the head of an grey
Hi my name is Gunnar and I am an African gray I live in Haninge south of Stockholm with my girlfriend Lisa. We live in a big cage in a small apartment with Bosse. One of my hobbies is try to drive him crazy. a funny joke I usually do.
(He get fooled almost every day)
When he gets home and opens the cage, I refuse to come out, he stands there and curls at me he poked me in the stomach but I back further into the cage while I says something unintelligible. Bosse gives up he bought food on the way home and apparently has goods that need to be in the freezer. The reason he wants to take me out of the cage and put me in climbing tree is that we parrots not like to shit in the cage. We don’t shit at all day if we do not have to and he wants to avoid what will soon occur.
Ha ha swiftly as the wind i climbs out onto the roof and shit over the cage almost two ounces will now run down at the grate. He do not think its fun to wipe shit but have now discovered what had happened and a burst of swearing that I can not write here passes his lips. I think this is I blast!
He begins to wipe the cage I know he's going to change paper in the bottom of the cage. But first I need to spread the feathers and dust lying on the cage bottom, I hold me in the cage roof as I flutter like a fool. FUCKING CROW he yells.
(We will be evicted if he does not settle down soon.)
I fly to the sofa at the other end of the room where I start chewing on the headrest. No no no he yells ok ok I will settle down a little bit he has had a hard day at work and need to relax a bit.
He opens the refrigerator and starts to pick up goods. Then Lisa climbs up the cage roof, and now refrigerator magnets falling down with the receipts postcards, etc.
DO NOT REMOVE THE FRIDGEMAGNETS he yells .
Lisa screaming like a stuck pig when he tries to take back the magnet. He change the paper in the cage and begin the daily vacuuming. When he has finished cleaning, he places himself on the couch to rest a little.
I usually let him have a rest after work, or he so grumpy in the evening. But first I have to scream a little bit I scream and yell Lisa would not help so I fly away to our climbing trees chasing her out at the tip of a branch I play fighting and feint a bit. Lisa gets scared and screaming straight out.
Go from there says he I pretend not to hear Lisa ports up and down and scream even more. He gets up and comes steaming he looks angry as I flee. Dad gives us nuts and goes back to the couch once he sleeps deeply we fit in and get some rest, we also after an hour I start to get hungry. It's time to wake him
It can be done in many ways but the most fun, is this only work when he is unshaven and he is now. I fly over to the sofa lands on the shoulder and begins to rub him gently on the cheek. He don’t react, he sleep. I grab a beard and pulls. He yells he flaps his arms and swear but now he's up.
I start with the food says he said.
Yes, do that, I think.
Bosse can say many words or hmm yes shout
WHY WHY WHY.
NO NO NO
GO FROM THER
NOW YOU ARE SILENT
QUIET QUIET QUIET
WHY DO YOU DO that?
He can laugh too, but it is not often.
That it should take so long to make dinner I flapping over to him and offers me to help. But he did not want any help? He carries me back to the tree where Lisa sits and scream she is very hungry, and by screaming she wants to say to him that it is a hurry with the dinner.
We sit down and eat dinner, we get little in separate bowl. Grub is ok. We splashed as much as we can. Dad is studying us with empty eyes, he looks more tired and worn out every day that passes. We have finished feeding he wipes the table floor ceiling and walls.
(We have eaten)
He sits down at his computer. (Now he thinks he'll get to relax a bit.)
Lisa and I decide to play who can scream loudest we yelling and screaming Bosse gets angry, he threatened to beat us or sell us to the painful animal experiments, and now he discovers that Lisa has shiting in his lap, he gets up and goes to to clean it off. Then he lies down on the couch and begins to scroll
through the channels. Look the remote control that is so fun, I also want to zap we fight over the remote control Lisa, who loves feet start to bite him in the toes. NO NO Lisa its hurts Dad says he pulls the feet but Lisa following she bite harder and harder he has to protect his feet so he He put the remote on the table I'm carrying it away and start to bite on it.
NO NO NO NO NO NO IT'S ENOUGH. He says he jumps up and chases up with us and locks us into the cage.
shit we've gone too far, as usual, now we get to spend the rest of the evening in the cage. But there's a new day tomorrow and I know that he loves us and would never do us harm, despite his outbursts and many threats.
Good night Lisa